oly's audi

i can’t even begin to understand my gender identity anymore

sometimes i’m boy

sometimes i’m girl

sometimes i’m boy who likes being recognized as girl

sometimes i’m girl who likes being recognized as boy

i

whhh

gender

I hope this isn't to invasive or rude or w/e but do you wake up certain days and say "today I feel like oliver/alyssa?" and therefore prefer to be referred to as such? Like, if people were to know you irl do they always refer to you as one or on certain days are you like "hey, today I feel like oliver, okay?" and they call you that? Or does it not work like that? Is one name okay? Does the name not really fluxuate with how you feel about your gender at a particular time? This is poorly worded.

Anonymous

hey man as long as you aren’t being mean i’m happy to answer anything

my gender is very fluid and i don’t expect anybody to be able to peg when exactly which name is going to be “most accurate,” especially considering i’ve only been open about this for about a month. i have days when i feel like a girl, i have days when i feel like a boy, and i have days where it switches halfway through. i can and will respond to alyssa (female), oly (neutral), or oliver (male) and any set of pronouns at any given time, but there are definitely times when i prefer one over the other! my closest friends are already pretty good at figuring out which is “right,” and i even have a friend who switches pronouns and names mid-sentence for me (which i think is really cute), but what it comes down to is that i’m fine with whatever you throw at me, as long as you recognize that i’m not JUST alyssa the female all the time. i don’t think i’ve ever outright said to anyone “i’m a dude today” and i don’t think i would because that would make it seem fake to me i think?? if that makes sense?? everyone irl just calls me alyssa but if they needed to guess it would be based on what i was wearing and how carried myself on that particular day, i think. if you don’t feel comfortable switching in between or if you’re worried about getting it “wrong” (you probably won’t, so let me stress that you really don’t need to be concerned about that. instinct is usually right and even if it isn’t i’m not going to be offended unless i’m putting a heck of a lot of effort into being conceived as a specific gender at that moment) then oly works, it’s something i’ve been called for years and it’s never wrong.

does this make any sense or has it left you even more confused? the bottom line is that at any given moment i usually prefer one or the other but i don’t expect people to be able to perceive something so subtle, so whatever their gut tells them works for me

hmm i'm not trying to be rude (you dont hav to answer if this is too invasive) but would you rather identify as male or female?

Anonymous

not too invasive!! my life is an open book. and i don’t really prefer either„, it kind of switches around a lot. passing as a guy is a really rewarding experience righ t now since it’s something i kind of have to work for but it’s pretty inconsistent lma o

To disclaim, I totally respect your gender identity. But I have a question as a cisgender person. There are some, maybe a lot, of aspects of social female identity that I don't identify with, but I definitely feel in the majority that I identify with my gender and really like my sex. I like my boobs and vagina. I'd so much love an explanation of your correspondence between gender and sex! If it's too intrusive I completely understand.

deathlehem

there’s rarely a case where i’m not willing/ eager to explain this kind of stuff so never feel like it’s too intrusive!! also this is a good thing so i’m going to publish this but if you want me to delete it please tell me

anyway, that’s super normal because society’s idea of a woman is pretty specific and doesn’t account for personal preference and it’s really… weird!! gender and sex don’t correspond. gender is a very unnatural idea, really. there’s no reason for gender to exist at all but our society isn’t about to drop an idea, regardless of how harmful and noninclusive it is, that’s been around since civilizations began to form. i really… hate my genitalia but i wouldn’t be happy with a penis either i wish i had barbie crotch. my sex really doesn’t matter to me (especially considering the fact that i’m asexual), so i definitely don’t think about it when considering my gender.

shakuzen replied to your post: “Bigender, bi-gender or bi+gender describes a…

hm yep that’s how i identified for awhile!! at least before the whole “being masculine doesn’t make you a boy and being feminine doesn’t make you a girl” thing got through my head. but yes i still definitely know this feeling very well though without any gender, period. “feeling” is probably the wrong word but you get what i mean stupid 250 character limit (ò ︹ó)

feeling is good!! i mean with me some days i… okay how can i put this. i wake up wanting to be a boy the way most people perceive boys and others (read: most) i wake up wanting to be a girl the way most people perceive girls

if that

makes sense?? gender hard

i don’t really want to put a label on it x__x

if i put a label on it people associate me with that label and with something as delicate and objective as gender i don’t want someone coming to me and saying “no hold on THOSE PEOPLE don’t do that you can’t possibly be one of THOSE PEOPLE” and i know those people are typically very uneducated about gender but i don’t want to deal with it

i don’t want to deal with it at all?

i just want to be a cute boy and a cute girl ppp